Jason (Robert Urich), the pirate leader, stumbles upon the quarters of Princess Karina of Argon (Mary Crosby), who is in a state of induced sleep. They'll meet a crew of younger pirates to set up the most holy words in the producer holy book of holiness- an extended universe! Are you hard now? I am. In a distant galaxy, where water is a valuable commodity, a band of space pirates board an imperial cruiser to steal ice. Some fights happen but with more explosions than the first one. Violently if they refuse to do a soundbite or two.įor the plot they gotta find the fountain of youth to restore their youth because they're old and need their youth. Every character played by an actor still alive and willing to be in this schlock is still alive. Sequel - After the brilliant Golden Globe winning introduction, we'll pick up one year later. We'll get some kid from the internet to deep fake a young Robert Urich. Lone Star wakes up and says "I just had the weirdest dream", but he's still old. Yeah! A DREAM! Audiences will be like "What? That's so fucking clever!!!". We're going to say the last few minutes of the film were a dream. We'll make sure everything is focus group tested to be as inoffensive and humorless as other modern comedy films. Soft reboot - we're going to have to update some of the humor. Plus, our carefully placed corporate shills at RLM have already done the leg work on this one. Ice pirates movie#The movie stars Robert Urich and Mary Crosby. It was directed by Stewart Raffill (of Wilderness Family and Mac and Me fame), who co-wrote the screenplay with Krull author Stanford Sherman. Ice Pirates 2 will be a NOstalgia SOft REboot RETcon SeQuEl or, as it is commonly known in the industry, a 'nosore retsqe'. The Ice Pirates is a 1984 comedy/science-fiction film. Maybe 2022.ĭear Hollywood Executive desperate for any idea whatsoever to make more money, Now that Rich Evans has said there will be no Ice Pirates reboot and we all know how the universe feels about Rich Evans, it is safe to say that Ice Pirates 2 will be hitting theatres by 2023.
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